Slow the F*ck Down
Have you felt the urge to slow down or been asked to slow down through illness or an injury?
Well the universe has hit me with both in the past and it looks like it is trying to double down again.
I crave slowing down so much, but a heavy dose of guilt keeps me pushing myself.
I had sick kids last week and I felt guilty I didn’t do more around the house. I felt guilt that I ended up just putting my energy into taking care of them and cuddles.
Come Thursday I was excited as my husband was home. Together I assumed we would finally be able to tackle laundry and tidy the house. We were working away at it. Although deep down I was also craving some slow time for me. Kids home sick for 4 days straight (after a solo parenting weekend), I was needing a timeout. But instead of just making space for that or asking my husband if I could step back for 30 minutes to an hour…
I decided to attempt to throw out my back…
I did not do this consciously. We were gearing up for a walk and I was on my way outside to check on one of my upset kids when it hit! The universe hit me with a big dose of “Slow the f*ck Down” as I slipped on the ice on the bottom step. And fell backwards, having my fall cushioned by the edge of one of the steps into my lower back. I hit hard… I was scared to move. I felt something go when I hit and I wasn’t sure what it was.
So I went from wanting and not giving myself an hour of down time. To being forced to slow down and rest the rest of the weekend. Into this week.
AND IT IS UNCOMFORTABLE 😳
The physical discomfort is getting better each day, thankfully. I likely sprained a muscle in my back. But each day I am not better, the guilt of not doing more grows and grows…
As a nuclear family, unfortunately when one person needs more time, it likely means the other person has to pick up the pace. And when both consistently are running at 110%, that doesn’t leave much space for extra energy to step up and support in those tough times.
So it leaves one struggling as they try to do more, pushing way past their capacity. And then it leaves the other feeling guilt (that other person is me) for not “pulling my weight” or “pushing through the pain”.
But I would say the message is clear. I need to slow down. And I would rather do it on my own terms, than this extreme request to slow down moving forward.
And maybe it had to be extreme? Because if I'm honest with myself, I would never have slowed down this much without an injury. I have my expectations of myself so high. I feel pressure to always be there for others, always be on. So as uncomfortable as this feels, I need to sit in this energy. Feel the uncomfortable and know nothing bad will happen if I slow down. Maybe some uncomfortable emotions, but nothing life or death.
If you are feeling the need to slow down? Needing a pause? Ask your intuition what would be beneficial today. If your not sure how to ask your intuition, send me a message and I can send you a link to my free guided meditation to help you tap into your own intuitive guidance 🙏🏻